One of the many things about motherhood is constantly feeling like you are just never doing enough. The feeling like you’re not spending enough time with all of your kids or the feeling that in a particular situation you just screwed up royally and somehow are going to severely damage your kid in some way. Yes… motherhood is beautiful and rewarding but it can also be extremely overwhelming. Like running a damn marathon that never ends. You stop for quick water breaks but it just keeps going and going and going. Sometimes you are in the lead and at times you, my friend , are getting your ass kicked. We’ve all been through it! You, your mother, your grandmother, this see saw…going up and down is completely normal and if anyone dares to tell you different, they are lying to your face! Actually, many times those who seem to have it the most together sometimes are going through the most difficult times. So now that you know that you are “normal” and are not alone, there are a few things to keep in mind that will help you not get as “dizzy” during those ups and downs of motherhood.
Forgive yourself: If you don’t forgive yourself no one else will. Whether you made a mistake, maybe went too far, or screwed up major, you have to remember that you are not perfect. You will make mistakes (sometimes big ones) and that is just a part of being human plus in most cases your kids won’t remember half those mistakes that you make. Luckily those little pumpkins love you unconditionally and tend to remember the awesome times and the successes. You have be able to forgive yourself in order to move on otherwise those feelings of guilt and insecurity will linger and will affect future parenting. You will never stop learning and part of learning is making mistakes and overcoming difficult times.
Appreciate and point out the successes: This might be the most difficult one (especially those of us that want nothing but perfection). But no matter how small of a success, focus on the positive and bask in your glory. Those glimpses of success are what keep you going, what keep you motivated,so don’t ignore those. You might make mistakes but enjoy the good times. Focus on when you actually got it right! The more you focus on the positive the better you will feel and the more positive energy you will bring to yourself and your family. There is perfection in imperfection:)
There is always tomorrow: This one has to be my favorite. It is what will get you through the most difficult day. Whether you lost your cool, forgot to pick up someone from soccer practice, or were too tired to play Legos with your little one, there is always tomorrow. Tomorrow will be better and you then have another opportunity to get it right. Don’t stress yourself out by feeling like you have to get everything in one day…there is always tomorrow. Thinking this will help with those stress levels that sometimes can get us in that “crazy mommy” mode.
So next time you are getting sick on the roller coaster that we know as motherhood, stop, take a breath, and remember that you are not perfect and its OKAY! You are not alone and no matter how down you are feeling or how bad it was, you will always have another opportunity to make things right. Hang in there!